Yesterday was our 10 week mark which means I am 1/4 of the way done. I have to have little milestones like this because it keeps me positive and thankful through all of the exhaustion and nausea. We discovered that we were Parents on June 16th just a day before Father's day. I must say that the Lord has ever so sweet timing. Our little baby was a complete surprise and with some hide-site, I think having a baby should be a surprise as it was much less stressful all around than our first pregnancy when we were actually attempting to get pregnant (not that either way is the right way, just what I prefer). For the most part the pregnancy has been fairly uneventful with a few concerning moments but nothing terribly huge. I have lots of support from both biological families and all those people whom we consider family. I am thankful for everyone in this time of change.
Sometimes though all the information can be overwhelming. While this is our 2nd pregnancy, we didn't get too far with the first one and so we were not able to discover all the nuances that go with the territory. I think I like the idea of learning along the way instead of being given all the info at one time like a fire hose. Oh well, just something that We will have to manage along the way.
And now for the poem which I wrote to share our news with the church....
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Lord, let my words and my life be a testament unto your Glory.
Almost 8 years ago at 19, I left my Mother and Father and the Lord brought me to good old Cincinnati. Naive and Free or so it seemed...
Wounded, Stubborn, independent, alone.
Little did I know I would meet the Man I was to marry that first week.
And the courtship began.
Turtle became my nickname as I drew into myself in those moments of sharpening, shaping, shedding the layers of scars that had been built around my heart.
But the Lord had plans for me ever unseen.
I was determined to break the chains of the generations before me. I would not bear the burden my mother holds. I wouldn't allow the thought of being weighed down by the needs of helpless babes no matter what Man made me a bride. "Don't you dare get Pregnant before you are married!" had been drilled into me. And it became I won't be a mother.
Oh but the Lord had plans for me.
5 years ago I, Corie Anne Grafton, do take Brock Nathaniel Lusch to be my husband. And HIS clock began to tick tock tick tock.
My heart softened sweetly blooming to the nephews that became ours. I still couldn't allow it for I had things to do and no time to spare.
Sharpening, shaping, shedding scars! TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK louder it got.
And oh the plans he had for me.
2 years ago Jesus took my heart and made it mush teaching me what love meant.
Scared and Given Courage, Afraid and Give Blind Faith; Trust me as I lead! he urged.
So I was courageous in faith and followed where led. Tick tock, tick, tock stopped.
And oh what a wonderful Joy he blessed us with a beautiful tiny Babe. He took this unwilling heart made it new and fulfilled Brock and I's desire.
And just as suddenly as she appeared Rose's tiny flickering light went out. And our little baby got to meet Jesus. Oh the days were so hard and a whole loomed where this great desire had developed.
"I have not forgotten you, I remember, I'm the great redeemer, I love You." were the Lord's words to me.
And its true for he blessed us in his unexpected timing. Our ABBA has given Brock and I our second little babe. Growing within and not yet evident, due to join us in February. And with this I sind songs of Praise to the King of Kings, mighty redeemer.
And to you who feel forgotten the Lord remembers; when you least expect it He does wondrous things. Just keep following him and you'll see. Even through trials and tribulations, He is our King and when we see his face it's going to be worth it all.
Oh the Plans he has for you and me.
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A bit of an explanation...
I wanted to be able to convey the journey my heart has taken over the years as well as giving honor to our first child and the King of Kings for I would not have gotten through all of this without him. There are also so many new people within our church that not everyone knew our story so it only made sense to me to be open and share all that occurred. And last I wanted it to be an encouragement to those who have had similar emotions of feeling like they were not going to be able to have what their heart desires, I wanted my story to give some hope. And maybe it did... I won't know until others let me into their hearts and I'm ok with not knowing. I am not the one who can fulfill those desires.
Well, I think this has become long enough. I will probably post again after our 2nd appointment on July 19th when we get our first ultrasound.... can't wait.
Blessings
Corie
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