Confessions of a Stressed BWMama - Taking Care of a Sick Family

Note: Everyone is Healthy Now and this all took place a couple weeks ago.  I started writing this in the middle of all of that and well I was taking care of everyone else sooooo pardon the late posting date. 

Let's Get Real: I am stressed, tired, warn out and I have heard more coughs, "mama" uttered a million times, tears of exhaustion, and sighs from my hubs when I lose my patience. I have pushed vitamins, meds, hydration, and naps. Disinfected, washed all the bedding several times, cooked several pots of soup and other meals.

And I have been angry, short tempered, at the end of my rope. I have yelled and had a huge fight with my husband who is SICK with the flu.  I am a horrible sinner and in the moments when my family honestly deserves to have the BEST from me they have received some of my worst. 

Some of my stress is self-imposed and in those moments, I need to realize that I have to adjust my personal goals for the year (I have REALLY BIG realistic GOALS for myself and family) and be flexible.  I need to give myself some grace and breathe. 

This has been going on for a Month.  One, two, or all three of my loves have been sick with the flu or some other bug or cold.  It is just frustrating to say the least.  I have not been able to do my normal routine, as they have required more of me.

The main thing that I have not been able to do is go to church and Bible study.  Last Monday I was finally able to get back to Bible study and today I was able to go to church.

Ruby and I are healthy and so I got us ready, served Brock and H what they needed as they were both feeling horrible and headed out.  Our church is about 1 mile from our home and I had no concern leaving Brock.  I was able to chat with a few different people. Let several know about Brock's condition as they knew he wasn't well and then I settled in to send time with Jesus and learn more about his word.

I NEEDED THIS!

My faith and relationship is such a huge part of my life.  It is the main motivating factor to why I am who I am.  I wanted to share the song that was so impactful.  It has been my anthem this and my encouragement.  

Reckless Love By: Cory Asbury

[Verse 1]

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me
[Chorus]
O, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
O, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
O, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
[Verse 2]
When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me
[Chorus]
O, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
O, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
O, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me
There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me
There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me
There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

 

And if you have read this far... Here is my encouragement and the lesson that I learned:

1. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE!  It is not easy to be the one that is healthy is a house full of sickies.

2. Be flexible on the goals.  It is awesome to have big goals but sometimes life delays and people are more important than goals. 

3. Make sure you take care of yourself and find the peace.  

Papa is home from Dad2.0

My beautiful wife and mother of my children spend 3 days without me and in the process posted a great piece on her experience and insight of Dad2.0. I just wanted to take a moment and say that it is only by her taking time off at her busy job to come home and let me go was an incredible sacrifice. My wife loves our children very much but she is not a mom that likes to sit around and watch lots of children's shows like I love to do with this kids. She has an agenda while I was gone to accomplish with the kids.
1. She wanted to get our daughter of 2 yrs off her need for a pacifier. It had served its purpose and knew she was only holding onto it because we were allowing it. After talking a game plan through together she took to cutting the pacifier numbs off so that we Ruby woke up they were broke. She found them and brought them to Corie and they talked about it. She was sad and would point them out as broken but by the time I got home and she showed me, we asked her if she wanted to throw them away. After about a day I am happy to report that Ruby made her own choice to throw them in the trash. Success!!
2. She wanted to get on starting to plant our garden with a few starter trays of flowers and vegetables. When I came home this was also taken care of and we are on our way to having another successful planting and harvesting year.
The other things  we talked about did not happen and that was fine because the kids were coping with papa being gone and a little bit of sickness.
This was the first time I had been away from Corie and then kids for this length of time. She did great and gave me plenty of space to enjoy my time. We had a huge issue arise the very first day with money that caused some stress but she was my calming factor and we moved passed it (I will write in more detail in my full recap I am writing for later). I was not bothered to have to call to tell the kids good night any of the nights but I did make an effort to call Corie at the end of the for a few minutes.
In conclusion this trip showed us that we can function well as a family when I go to conference and that communication is still well established and not a burden but a very positive connection.
Keep a lookout for a future post when I release a short story of the entire experience of Dad2.0. 

Stay At Home Mama... Flying Solo in the Midst of Dad 2.0 Summit

A 4 Part Blog:

1: I'm Mushy and Not Sorry

By Beloved Brock has flown the coup and headed to New Orleans for the Dad 2.0 Summit.  There were a wealth of emotions before he actually left and now while he is away.  I absolutely HATE being states away as there are so many reasons and my heart is in his hands.  As I write this I am even getting a bit emotional as I just really want a snuggle and a sweet gentle kiss on my forehead.  To say I miss him is an extreme understatement.

2: What I'm currently in the middle of

I am so excited for Brock and all of the adventures, relationships, meetings, knowledge, and experiences he is currently enjoying.  I know that this brief separation will be a phenomenal blessing to our family, our city, and the Cincinnati Dad's Group.  So I just want to say THANK YOU to all of those spoiling/blessing/teaching my hubs some new things.  Just a couple I know of are: #KiaDad, Best Buy, and #RealStrength.

It is also a blessing to our kids and myself as we get to spend some quality time together.  As Bread Winning Mama, I am often away from home 60+ hours (actual work, commute, other activities and life) a week and that leaves very little dedicated time for me to spend with each of them.  So it is nice to remove the BWM "suit" (I don't actually wear a suit to work), relax into my Stay a Home Mama "jeans and T's," and just chill with my littles while they are still little.

Going into this weekend, I prepared myself with a few different tricks and wanted to make sure that I had a plan in my head (if not on paper as well) to help make things go smoothly for everyone.  Initially, I had thought about taking the time to really dig into potty training Ru (2 yo).  But the more I thought about it the more I didn't want to push it and she is 3000% stubborn...aka SHE doesn't want to do it yet. So, Nope.

I decided instead to just work on weaning her off of the PACI.  Really folks, she is 2 and doesn't "need" it but OH THE DRAMA.  My younger sister, works in a dentist office and gave me the idea that we could talk to her about if Paci is broken then we are going to have to throw it away and we cannot fix it.  We have 3 pacifiers in the house.  She only really uses one of them.  So yesterday, I cut the rubber piece off of one of them and showed it to her. Told her it was broken and we cannot fix it. Today, I did another while she was down for a nap. And I'm hoping that tomorrow after she wakes up I can do the last remaining one. And then we will forever be FREE of the paci. Hopefully, I will not regret this decision and Brock will not want to kill me for it later.  Fingers crossed. Pray for me.

3: The Weekend Thus Far

After the airport drop off we swung past our favorite local donut shop where we spent a good 10 minutes drooling over the sweet treats and deciding what to buy. Grabbed up some of their famous cookies and headed home for the morning.  We enjoyed half a donut a piece because I'm a smart Mama; split the spoils in half = less of a sugar rush now and the treat last 2x instead of just once = better likelihood of obedience in the longer term.  #winWinWIN.  The rest of the day was a bit of a wash as a migraine plagued me and it is difficult to function as a human let alone a parent when one of those EVIL MONSTERS arrives.  A friend unexpectedly brought over dinner, the kids refused to eat (they are not starving and had snacks earlier in the day), I refused to give them anything else; which meant PJ's and bedtime routine.  Before bed we played a couple rounds of Crazy 8's in which I needed to remind H how to be a good sport (Check out Brock's prior blog on Losing with Dignity).   It was a challenge as he was also pretty tired at that point. But bedtime went smoothly and their evening was done.    My HIGHLIGHT was a wonderful 20 minute call with my Beloved during which he shared some of his excitements with me.

He is doing an Amazing Job representing our Family and I couldn't be more pleased!

Today, I again got to do enjoy a special aspect of being a SAHM.  I took the kids to a free indoor (it was 16 degrees F) kids play area and meet one of my best friends, Leslie, with her two sons.  I am always refreshed and refilled when I get to spend time with her.  We talked about life, motherhood, nothing in general, and some really important revelations.  She had reached out previously to see if this was something that would work out and we very intentionally planned the time.  IT WAS PERFECT!  After that the kids and I headed to Lowe's as we need to start a few of our seeds for our spring garden and they didn't complain once.  We returned home, had lunch, sent Brock some silly pictures to make him smile. And then NAP TIME.

BLESSED NAP TIME... Which is how I have the ability and quiet to process and write.

This afternoon we are going to go celebrate another of my best friends; Nichole's LAST day of CHEMO!  I'm excited that I will get to take the kids.  I want them to understand that life is not always easy or fun but if you chose an attitude of praising/serving Jesus, being grateful, loving others, and choosing to be Joyful; it makes the hard stuff a whole lot easier.  Teaching them that our reactions and emotions are always a choice is something that Brock and I have worked hard to incorporate into our marriage and parenting.  It isn't easy to master within ourselves let alone teach to kids.  Many times we fail but in when we fail; we apologize, ask for forgiveness, and try to do better the next time.  The most humbling moments are when we have to go to our kids to apologize but this is what makes our bonds with them stronger.  (Ok that was my parenting tangent for the post)

Tomorrow, will bring a quiet day at home of planting our seeds in the morning, playing some games, and painting with "Mama's real paints" as H puts it. Maybe some baking as well.  We shall see.

Sunday! Sleeping a bit later (hopefully), CHURCH.  I am really excited for church.  I have missed it the past couple weeks as crazy sick virus with a fever got my 3 loves and I needed to care for them.  And then off to reunite with my Beloved once more at CVG!  I am ready to have him back and he has been gone just over 24 hours and will only be gone for 3 days. I know, I'm ridiculous; but that's my Love.

4: If You Ever Fly Solo

So to all the parents who read through to this point hear are my final thoughts:
If you are going to be flying Solo there are somethings that you should remember.

1. Switching roles with your significant other for some time can be really eye opening.  My SAHHubs/dad does far more in a day than I ever could at home in terms of keeping it clean/organized. And I wish I could accomplish 25% of what he does. I'm blessed.
2. HAVE A PLAN!  Know your kids schedules/routines/meds/meal plan. This will be beneficial for you and for them.
3. Do something that you don't normally get to do with them.  HAVE FUN!
4. Be flexible. Don't schedule every minute and have the time be overly exhausting for everyone.
5. If you are going to work on large transitions like the pacifier or potty training. Make sure you let your SO in on the deal.  They may have really good reasons as to why you should wait, ideas on what could help you succeed, or just need to be filled in on what they will be returning to when the roles flip back.


And truly if you have stayed with me to this point; from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! Our time is precious.  I hope you enjoyed my musing for today. Blessings to you and yours.