Feeling Like a Roommate...

Every so often (because seasons come and seasons go) Brock or I will say...

"I'm feeling like a roommate." 

We have been married for 11 years now and marriage is WORK.  I can unequivocally say that I love my husband more today than I did when we professed our vows to one another, but lets face it.  Life is busy. We have different hobbies, passions, and yes even different friends. There are seasons when due to all the crazy schedules of work, church, kids friends, fun around the city, City Dads Group we just end up feeling like ships passing in the night. "Hey, roommate? How ya doing?"

This for us is a queue that we need to refocus some of our attention and schedule back away from outward focus to being more inward focus on connecting in our marriage. Basically, because of all the craziness, we have put our relationship on the back burner and now it is time to give the stew a good stir, add in some ingredients, mix things up.

Many times, the conversation centers around things that we have not done in a while (date night, connecting about where each other is in our walk with Jesus, things we would like to see/do, being intentional, and yes sometimes simply saying "we haven't had sex recently, aka: a week or so).  

Usually, doing something small to make one other feel just a bit more special/loved does the trick to get us out of the Roommate funk and back to the marriage we enjoy.  Sometimes it is as easy as having a really good night of love making.  Other times it means that we need to get our creative juices flowing, look at the budget (both financial and time) and come up with a great date or weekend away.  Having two kids, a dog, and the house means that fighting for time for us is HARD!

But we DO IT! Because before we ever said, I think I could marry you we had a conversation about Divorce not being in our vocabulary. The only exit plan for our marriage is if one of us dies. That was our agreement. 

So we make time.  The roommate feelings are extinguished, connections restored, and we continue.  We are never surprised when it comes around again as we just know it is a part of life. Rather, it is what you do when you have those feelings that dictates where the next season will take your marriage.

My encouragement to you when you have these seasons are as follows:

1. Talk about your thoughts/feelings with your Spouse!  If you don't, nothing will change.

2. Take initiative yourself to change. Don't expect your spouse to do it.

Plan the date, prep the bedroom for marital fun, get a babysitter, book that favorite restaurant, take a trip, go to a play, concert, movie... DO SOMETHING to reconnect.

3. Expect these seasons but don't create them intentionally.

4. Work on your marriage together! The longer you are together the more it will change and grow because I am not the 22 year old who said I do and neither is our marriage one of inexperience anymore.

5. Remember to have fun. 

I hope you all find this helpful and encouraging.

Many Blessings

BWM Corie

#KeepingItReal #Blessed #LoveMyHusband #WorthIt #GottaTakeMyOwnAdvise #TimeForADate